IF DATING MAKES YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS, READ THIS.
It's natural to feel a little nervous, anxious, and excited all at once when you are thinking about dating me. Here are a few educational resources to assist you on your dating journey.
Keep in mind that our thoughts become things, so as you are planning and looking forward to a date with me, I want you to imagine everything going well.
Close your eyes and think about me walking into the restaurant. You are already there, sitting at a table in the corner. You look up and see me. The sunlight shines down on me, and my copper hair glows golden. We make eye contact, and the hostess leads me to our table.
You stand and greet me with a smile and pull out my chair for me. I take a seat and browse the menu. We have a lovely conversation, light flirting is reciprocated, and we enjoy a delicious dining experience together.
It really is that easy. It can go as well as you dreamed. Because, say it with me, your thoughts become things, so make sure you are thinking about all the things you want to happen. Hold those happy thoughts for a minimum of 17 seconds.
If you have negative thoughts that come up, note them, observe them, see if you can put your feelings aside, and get to the root of the message your body and nervous system are sending you. Play a mediation series. Sit quietly with your thoughts and feelings. Then, let them go. Imagine yourself breathing out your anxiety. Then, imagine those negative beliefs leaving your body. You now feel light and happy.
If you made it to our first date, you did a couple of things right. If we plan a second date, that means you have impressed me and have done many things well. Relax. Dating is meant to be fun. Sure, the first date and maybe even the second can feel like an interview, and that is normal. We are getting to know each other and that means asking each other questions.
We don't have to go through a complete checklist of questions on the first date. Getting to know each other is a process that takes time. Save some questions for the second and third dates. We have plenty of time to get to know each other.
Here are a few resources to help you feel calm, relaxed, and prepared before our date.
Headspace has a mediation series on Netflix, Guide to Meditation.
Dr. Joe Dispenza explains pineal gland breathing - this will calm you right TF down very quickly and help you feel more powerful. Practice that breathing here.
Watch Dr. Joe Dispenza's meditation series on YouTube. He is bridging the gap between the science and spiritual worlds.
Ester Perel is the OG when it comes to relationship dynamics and psychology.
Dr. Justin LeMiller is a sex and psychologist researcher and writer.
If you can feel it, you can heal it. If you are uncomfortable with the feelings you are having, sit with them and examine them with curiosity. You are doing just fine. Put your feet firmly on the ground. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and know that you are in a safe space.
Take care of yourself. I'll see you soon.
-Goddess Lysistrata